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  • Writer's pictureJodi

Spoonfuls of Sugar

Thanksgiving. Grateful. Gratitude. Appreciation.


We’re coming off of a week where these are words that have been resonating in our ears and spoken from our lips as we have gathered around our (much smaller) tables, snuggled in our family rooms, squeezed into the screen for zoom calls, and with which we have bombarded our social media feeds. And cheers to us, for this is indeed how it should be. It’s quite simplistic to decipher that Thanksgiving is indeed a day to give thanks. But how many of you will join me in admitting that there were times this week, or even on Thanksgiving day itself, that you didn’t feel oh, so grateful???


This was the first year in our 19 years of marriage that Matt and I spent Thanksgiving at home. We have never been in our house on Thanksgiving Day. In fact, we’ve never even been in town the week of Thanksgiving. We have always alternated years traveling to Belpre or Danbury to share the holiday break with our families. But then…..2020! It was no surprise that our Thanksgiving “plans”, much like most of our plans for this year, did not come to fruition. This year was our year to travel to Connecticut to be with the Kinasewitz clan, but for an array of reasons, mostly COVID related, we decided that it was in everyone’s best interest for us to stay home.


What???? Thanksgiving in Mason??? Thanksgiving at home??? What will we do?? Where will we go?? What fun things are there to do?? What’s even open?? We’ve never done this…. We don’t know how to do this... We don’t know what to do... We don’t want to do this. Well, guess what? We realized very quickly, or actually we were gently prodded into remembering, that we are not in control. As my mother-in-law always says, “Make plans, and watch God laugh.” There is so much truth to this, and it is a lesson that often has to be learned over and over and over again for so many of us; present company included. But, I don’t believe for one second that God was sitting back laughing at everyone’s Thanksgiving plans going up in smoke. Nor do I choose to believe that he is enjoying one ounce of the pain and loss that everyone has endured, some more intensely than others, these last eight (plus) months. But what I do know is that when we hurt, God hurts with us. In Psalm 34:18 we are reminded and comforted in that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.” He did not leave us this past Thursday on Thanksgiving day, he didn’t leave us back in March when the whole world literally shut down, and he hasn’t left us today. He has never, and he will never, leave us. In fact, he is with me right this very minute as I write this. And, friend, he is with you right this very minute as you read this.


When Matt and I realized that our every other year, 10 hour drive to Connecticut for Thanksgiving was not going to happen, we were sort of in a fog for a day or two. Not really sure what to say to each other, and we certainly didn’t have the words to tell the kids. We had a mixed bag of emotions: disappointed, angry, frustrated, grief, and basic overall sadness. And, we were both hesitant to tell the kids that we would not be making the trip to see Nanny and Poppa, or The Lubowickis and Kinasewitzes of Connecticut. Beloved family that we don’t see nearly enough due to the miles that separate us. We were in uncharted territory. Remember, we have never not spent Thanksgiving in Belpre or Connecticut. And while I fully recognize that our loss of the visit is minor compared to what many have struggled with, faced and lost this year, it was nonetheless a loss, our loss. So we weren’t quite ready to hold the kids’ emotions because we were still trying to contain ours, manage ours. We were trying to bring all the good vibes, feel all the good feels, and magically weave in the positive in an effort to erase the negative. Simply, we were aimlessly scooping for “just a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down.”


I know this may seem as if I long for the good ole’ days and have unrealistic hope and cheer. But really, this pause Matt and I took, a pause to let the reality of the situation sink in helped us realize that there is no “should” or “should not” when it comes to having feelings. Our feelings are a part of who we are, and if we’re being honest, they are beyond our control. So after we felt guilty over feeling disappointed, hurt, uncertain, and a plethora of other emotions, we realized that we did not need to feel that guilt. We had every right to feel all the feels. And, it helped us realize that while we couldn’t control our feelings or the kids’ feelings, we could control our reaction and response to the newness of our first Thanksgiving at home- just the six of us. We learned and showed the kids that we can hold both happiness and sadness, both joy and sorrow. There is room in our hearts for all the feelings, and all at the same time.


Thus began the mission to find new adventures in our local area around the Thanksgiving holiday, and honestly to inhale deeply and sweetly the thought of being home with nothing that we had to do and nowhere we had to go. I know, I know… we’ve had plenty of this time in this year of our Lord, 2020. But, if truth be told, I think we were all secretly exhaling just a bit knowing that we were going to have an entire week of just being. Being home, being still, being lazy, being productive, being rested, being restored, being together. Yes, we are still The Kinasewitzes, and on the same day we were told Thanksgiving in Connecticut wasn’t happening, Matt and I were told that we would be teaching virtually the week after the break. So, we jumped into action, and as Bob Dylan once beautifully sang, our hands were busy and our feet were swift as we searched for things to do. Things that would get us out of the house here and there; fun, amazing places that we have right here, right at our fingertips and have never taken the time to explore. So, off we went to The Ark Encounter in Kentucky and the Yellow Springs area (which we have visited MANY times) to enjoy the beautiful Christmas display at the Clifton Mill, which we have never visited. Sprinkled between these spontaneous day trip experiences were walks, talks, family game nights, a family football game, spinning contests on our bike, Netflix watching, and just being together.


So often we are told that the truth is hard to swallow. When things don’t go as we have planned, we can become quick to turn to anger or hold resentment and a bitter taste in our mouths. But this past week, when we were dealt yet another “loss” in 2020, and we realized that we would not be spending Thanksgiving with our relatives, we slowly awakened to the reality that we were in fact being enticed with the truth, God’s truth. He woke us in a way that helped us realize that we need to “taste and see that the Lord is good” (Psalm 34:8). He reframed our thoughts, attitudes, actions and responses to our derailed plans. He helped us see that we need to be thankful in all circumstances, not FOR them, but IN them. This determination to find the good and see the good in all situations is the lifeline of hope, peace, joy and all other faith filled fuel we need to help us navigate this troubled world. Gratitude keeps us grounded and rooted in what really matters. It keeps us connected to God, and it helps us understand and accept the reality that we will face many struggles and adversities in our lives, but with faith we know we have a greater source of strength that walks with us and sees us through. We have God. We have Jesus. We have the Holy Spirit. I do not believe that God is an angry God or a punishing God. But I do believe that some of his greatest work comes from the perseverance and endurance we gain as we work through times of trial.


Along with all the sugar that accompanied our Thanksgiving desserts, there was sweetness abounding around our home this past week. The girls went out just the three of them for some shopping and dinner, Matt and Jack had some boy time, Abby and I had our much needed Gilmore Girl binge, we had several rounds of family Kahoots. And, possibly the sweetest moment, was everyone opening up and sharing from their hearts during our Thanksgiving dinner. Things like: What habit do you want to continue into the New Year? What do you want to do less of in the New Year? And, be still my heart, when the question was: If you could thank anyone who would it be and why? and Jack, the first to answer, very tenderly said, “Pap, no explanation needed.” Right there. In that short response is enough love, enough respect, enough sweetness, enough heart to last a lifetime.


Do I think Jesus weeps at the loss of life this past year? Yes.

Do I think Jesus is saddened over the fact that families and friends can’t be together to celebrate birthdays, holidays, weddings…..? Yes.

Do I think Jesus’ heart hurts that families and friends can’t come together in collective grief to mourn the loss of a loved one? Yes.


Do I know Jesus is using all of this for his greater good? Yes and Amen.

Do I know Jesus is planting deep seeded roots that will serve us well and reap quite the harvest in our future? Yes.

Do I know we will come out victorious? Yes.

Do I know the story is written, the battle is over, and the victory is His? 100% YAAAAASSSSS!


We are reminded in Colossians that “He is before all things, and in him all things hold together”(1:17).


Friends, He is serving us spoonfuls of sugar to help the medicine go down. Bit by bit, little by little. We are waking every day to a new day. He is seeing us through. He has not left our side, not for one second. He is restoring us piece by piece. We may never see, know, or understand the pure goodness that will come of these times. Maybe it’s not meant for us to know, at least not in our time here on Earth. But let’s not grow weary. Let’s keep fighting the good fight. Our families, our friends, our neighbors, our communities are worth fighting for, and we have the best soldier on our side if only we choose to let Him in, let Him lead. He is pure truth, pure love, pure protection, and pure goodness. The name of Jesus is the sweetest name we will ever know, and he offers a refreshing taste to life. So start sharing those spoonfuls of sugar. Hand them out like candy. We have the honor and privilege of sharing our God, our sweet Jesus, with a world that is starving for faith, hope and love.


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